Welcome to the real world

..of modern business


June 17, 2011 (Friday)
”picHave you ever heard the expression, “Welcome to the real world?” Well, I have a little example I will share with you. I ordered an item from an online company — let’s call it “Alotta Stuff.” The online store has super duper computerized ordering available, so that’s what I used. In a few days, my order was filled and delivered to my door by a delivery service, let’s call it “Speedy Guys.”
So far so good. But then I found out that this was a duplicate order. No worry, because all I needed to do was to return the unopened package, for “a full refund,” back to “Alotta Stuff.” No problem. Super duper computerized ordering, right? I go to their online site, select “return items,” and get immediate help: “Just fill in this little form and we’ll present a mailing label that you can easily print, stick on the package, and have it picked up by ‘Speedy Guys.’ We’ll even notify ‘Speedy Guys’ for you. Just have the package ready for them to pick up.”
Easy, right? No, because there was no label. Only a form to enclose inside the unopened package. Problem solved by putting the unopened package with the new form inside another box. Sealed and ready, but no mailing label. Not to worry, the new information from “Alotta Stuff” says they will contact “Speedy Guys” delivery service and their driver will bring the label with him.
New problem. The site told me I would pay more than half the amount of the refund in fees and delivery charges. So I decided just to keep it and give it away to somebody. I looked on the “Alotta Stuff” site and it said to call “Speedy Guys” and cancel the pickup, giving me a toll-free number. So I called them, and talked with a speech recognition machine, several times before it understand my old voice. Finally the machine turned me over to a live person who connected me to another live person who told me I should contact “Alotta Stuff” instead. I replied that I had contacted them and they had told me to call “Speedy Guys.” “In that case,” the guy said, “if you see the driver when he comes to pick up the package, just tell him you decided to keep it instead.”
In the meantime, I decided to send it back anyway, set it on the front porch, and while I was at church, the “Speedy Guys” driver came with his label, stuck it on the package, I think, and took it away. Too bad. I was growing attached to it.
Welcome to the real world…I think.