March 1, 2016 Tuesday)
Last week I developed a notion that I could cook hash brown potatoes. I found my grater hidden away among the kitchen utensils and made good use of it. My hash browns were very good. Along with two eggs over easy, a couple of biscuits and three slices of bacon I had a great meal.
That was the good news.
The bad news is that when I was grating the potato that I had peeled to make the hash browns, I came down to a small piece that was difficult to hold in place. Just as I was about to pitch it in the trash I decided to microwave it. I wrapped it in a wet paper towel 
and set in inside the microwave oven. Why I gave it more than 15 or 30 seconds I’ll never know, but I set it for 5 minutes, thinking, I guess, that I could stop it at any time. Problem was I got busy doing something else, forgot about the potato piece, and had my back to the microwave. I was awakened to reality when I saw the smoke and then looking through the window of the microwave I saw fire, lots of it. About that time Dwight walked in and shut it off, taking the plate and the fiery potato outside.
I didn’t know potatoes could catch on fire, but I know it now. I did a little research to try and find out why, but I don’t know, unless it’s the minerals in the potato, and there are several. I guess the potassium, copper, magnesium and other stuff could burn under some circumstances, but I am just guessing. Potatoes are tubers, which I think are glorified roots, and that may have something to do with it. Who knows?
I do occasionally cook potatoes in the microwave with great success. This was just a dumb idea in any case.
The odor left in the microwave was horrible, and it filled the house. I cleaned the inside with soda and then with lemon juice, washing it thoroughly with both, and that helped, but there is a lingering smell that won’t go away, even though it does not affect the food that we put in it.
There is what looks like a thin piece of cardboard on one side of the inside of the microwave oven. It is made of Mica, and I’ve ordered a replacement for it because it partially burned and now when it is in place and the microwave is engaged, it lights up like a new diode searchlight, with sparks all over the interior. It covers the opening where the cooking waves come in and serves to keep any spatters from getting back into the important working part that emits the waves.
Beware, my friends. Chicita Banana says don’t put your bananas in the refrigerator and I say don’t put your potato scraps into your microwave oven. Leave such actions to dum, dummer and dummest.
“Wise people think before they act; fools don’t–and even brag about their foolishness”
(Proverbs 16:18 NLT). Please point me to the confessional booth.