if you read the funny stuff
October 14, 2010 (Thursday)
Next time you get a newspaper, pay close attention to the headlines. You may see something strange or funny. How about these headlines? “Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say.” Ya’ think? “Iraqi Head Seeks Arms.” Not hard to visualize, given the many times we’ve seen cartoons showing that very thing. “British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands” may have meant the Liberals couldn’t make up their minds, but the first question that comes to mind in seeing that headline is, “Did they leave the syrup, too?”
Then there are the classifieds. You may be surprised if you read them closely. One of them said, “Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.” Huh? May be time for that single guy to hire a writer for his ads. How about the notice that read, “Free Yorkshire terrier. 8 years old. unpleasant little dog.” Think anyone will want to take him off their hands? Maybe this guy should have proof-read his ad before running it: “Free: farm kittens. ready to eat.”
Also you might see a few interesting signs here and there. For instance, this one in ‘George’s Service Station, Glen Ellen, California:
If your car sounds like:
“ping-click-ping” – $10.00
“click-whine-click” – $25.00
“clunk-whine-clunk” – $50.00
“thud-clunk-thud” – $100.00
“clang-thud-clang” – $300.00
“Can’t describe it” – $500.00
Ever see a mistake in a church bulletin? One of them included an appeal, “Don’t let worry kill you – let the Church help.” Another carried an announcement about a couple in the church: “Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.” ‘Nuff said. One church bulletin explained, “Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.” I’d be a fool to comment on that one.
Have fun in life. Be sure to read something today.